When we invite others or mention that COVET is hosting a munch, we often hear the question, “What is that?” Sometimes it even comes from people who’ve been in the community for a while — and that’s okay. No judgment here.
One of COVET’s goals is to educate as well as build community. Things evolve and adapt based on need and environment, and the munch is no exception. A munch is a great way to connect, build, and network with like-minded people in and around your local area — especially for those who are new to BDSM.
In the BDSM, Leather, and kink communities, a munch is a casual and non-sexual social gathering for people who are interested in the community. The term originated in the 1990s from the phrase “burger munch” and has since become widely used.
A munch is usually held in a public space like a restaurant, café, or bar, where people involved in or curious about BDSM can meet, talk, and socialize in a relaxed, everyday setting.
Often hosted monthly or bimonthly by local kink communities, munches are typically open to both beginners and experienced folks. Attendees usually dress in casual, vanilla attire — no fetish wear. Consent and confidentiality remain key values at munches, just as they are throughout every aspect of the community.
And of course: no play is allowed. Munches are purely social events. We definitely don’t want to scare the vanillas.
Virtual munches — giving people broader access from home — became a thing as technology created new ways to connect. Early examples included three-way calling, conference call services, group audio chat apps, video meeting platforms, and more.
Although virtual munches were already gaining popularity through audio and video formats, they boomed during the pandemic, when in-person events were shut down. The community, as always, found a way to stay connected and continue building.
Some munch groups or events incorporate additional activities — which is totally cool. As mentioned earlier, all things evolve and adapt based on need and environment. While munches are no exception to this growth, it’s still important to remember their original purpose:
-Community Building
Munches help kinksters build relationships outside of play. They’re about getting to know others as people first — not just as players or roles.
-Safety & Vetting
They provide a safe environment for newcomers to meet others, ask questions, and get a feel for the local scene before attending play parties or dungeons.
-Education & Orientation
New folks can learn about etiquette, community standards, and terminology in a welcoming space without pressure.
-Visibility & Normalization
Meeting in public reminds participants (and sometimes onlookers) that kinky people are just regular folks, helping to reduce shame and stigma.
-Networking & Resources
Munches are often where people find out about events, workshops, dungeons, and vetted play partners.
It could be said that a munch (dare we say) is the “front gate” of the BDSM, Leather, and kink communities — a welcoming, accessible place where people can come together without pressure to play. Munches are a vital part of the culture, especially for those who value community, education, and safety.
Do You COVET 